Thursday, August 13, 2009

The part where I apologise for the lack of updates

I know I have been somewhat lax in keeping this element of the FTC story up to date recently. I have no excuse except to say that I will do my best to report the exciting developments that will be happening in the next few weeks. I emphasise the word WILL because failure to comply on this particular subject is likely to end badly for someone, anyone, foolish enough to present themselves as the messenger.

The new bathroom goes in next week y’see, and for the eagle eyed, yes it has been delayed slightly. I blame B&Q. Not because we were stupid enough to buy a bathroom from another big company after the debacle of the kitchen, but because they, by association, have made undue calls on my bathroom fitter’s time and therefore left me high and dry.

A lengthy conversation today regarding the incompatibility of home birth and a lack of washing facilities left him in no doubt as to the current position and I am reassured that the threat of fire and brimstone raining down we will see some action next week.

In the meantime however, we are still without a bath as the floor had to be levelled last week and allowed to dry fully before the main work could begin. Needless to say I was also forced to explain the incompatibility of a husband working with oily cars and a lack of washing facilities. The baby wipes budget has gone through the roof, although I am now fully reassured that they have been road tested and will remove pretty much any kind of deposit from the human body, which is always nice to know.

Frustrated at a lack of bathroom activity, I made the fatal mistake of running into a Habitat I was passing while their sale was on. Error, dear reader, of epic proportions. Once they had relieved me of a substantial portion of my wages I went home with, amongst other things, a frame for a very special picture. It is a poster Keith and I bought in Ronda this year when we were away for his birthday.

You might remember the post from the Maybe Diaries when I described that day as one of the most miserable of my life, due entirely to my discovery of the true meaning of morning sickness. Anyway, we hadn’t done anything with the poster but I seized the opportunity of purchasing a 50 x 100 frame (I mean seriously, who in their right mind creates a poster in those proportions?!?) and framed it as a surprise for Keith.

Predictably, he fell in love with the poster all over again and set about painting the stripped hallway with a really remarkable degree of concentration. For my part, I can’t believe the difference something as simple as a coat of paint has made to the hallway, and I’m loving the poster in its new home, I think it really brings something to what has always been a bit of a ‘non’ space before now, albeit a non space with a stupid Mexican cantina motif painted round the top.

I have sneakily left the best news until last, but now I feel the time has come for the grand unveiling of the new bedroom carpet. Oh yes, you heard me right, the new, brand spankingly beautiful bedroom carpet.

As you can see it is in a dangerously light shade of cream, and as a result shoes are now banned, as are grubby workshop trousers from marring its beauty. It nearly ended before it began for the poor floor covering, Keith coming home at 3am from the workshop and forgetting there was a carpet barely out of the wrapper. He made it two steps into the room before I somehow sensed his stupidity, woke up and reminded him of his mistake in liberal Anglo Saxon.

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